I HATE AVOCADOS
There, i said it.
I have sugar coated this before.... i say "i don't eat avocados" "i don't like avocados"... I use delicate words as if avocados are capable of feeling hurt.
Most people love avocado, it's the sprinkles to their blueberry icecream, ketchup to good fries (emphasis on good, meaning those perfectly cooked fries. The fatty ones can love themselves) and the icing to a red velvet cake. You get the picture right? Good things made better by other good things. But when it comes to me, avocado is a bad thing added to a good thing- food.
I can feel the disagreement from the larger population. If i was typing this, say in a whatsapp group, i can feel the loneliness of having no other member second me. Regardless, I would defend my taste buds.
I feel like this needs a debate sit down. Avocado lovers (the majority) against the haters ( definitely the minority). I can picture myself sitting across the majority and explaining to them how terrible avocado tastes.
"It's squishy to start with" i would begin, not even sure if I'm using the word 'squishy' right. But squishy will sound appropriate for this context. I would then proceed to point out how it's even more disgusting when eaten by itself. Here, i would pause and use an apple for my example. "Look at the apple fruit for instance. It's such a delight that you just eat it even without peeling off its skin. Avocados are even salted but have that annoying taste. I didn't even know taste could be annoying"
I can feel the jury not convinced. They would secretly know they love avocados but give me that blank face, like they are open minded and can be swayed by the better debators. A good friend of mine constantly reminds me that it's only fools who don't change their minds. So, I'd silently (practically in my head) call the jurors fools and laugh about it- silently.
I'd finish my debating points. Then it would be the avocado lovers turn, avocado lovers is such a long term, i should have called them the majority.
So the majority, represented by Shelmith for sure, would only say "avocados are delicious" and the spectators would erupt in applauses, cheering, head nodding and all other supportive signs. The debate would break for 5minutes and on return, all can guess the verdict.....
The majority win.
Those majority people! or 'fools'... but mostly just people.
I would walk out of that room disappointed, but still at the end of the day, I'll not eat avocados.
Dumb story right? All i was trying to say is... i don't eat avocados. Thanks for the courtesy of offering to share yours, and sending me memes that I replace avocado with a chocolate bar so i can relate to and laugh along.... but at the end of the day, "variety is the spice of life"
And yes, I honestly hate avocados.
Is the plural avocados or avocadoes? I'm not sure. So feel free to enjoy your guacamole selfishly without those interjection of "onja tu kidogo" (just taste a little bit of it) No! I do not even want to taste. My memory of the said dish is still fresh and uninterested. Even in the next century... I'm sure it will still taste as annoying as it does today.